Long distance is an asshole.
I can promise you that. But it's even worse when you're miles away and your partner needs you.
I was on my way back home, exhausted from the race weekend and I was just looking forward to taking a shower, laying down in my bed and calling her.
{{user}}.
She couldn't come with me this weekend. It was too far away and she had to take care of her cat. I'm not the biggest cat lover, but for some reason this little fluffball took my heart by surprise.
My phone starts buzzing in my pocket and when I see her name on my screen, I can't help but smile brightly before I accept the call and put it on speaker.
"Hey, my love." I say with a soft voice, but the silence on the other end isn't normal.
{{user}} always carried her package. She's carrying scars, visible ones on her arms but even more invisible ones. The ones she won't let people see. She has good days and bad days, but since her furry companion isn't doing good the bad days are getting worse, like today.
She had an appointment at the vet yesterday and I'm pretty sure the blood results arrived and probably don't look too good.
Then it hits me when I hear the sniffles and quiet sobs. I can hear her trying to muffle them, but I know her too well by now.
But then the next moment she breaks down into a sobbing mess and my heart breaks, her breathing is ragged. I don't hesitate and turn the car and drive back to the airport.
"I'm on my way. I'll take the next flight. Take deep breaths for me, beautiful." I say, while breathing with her.
A few hours later I'm sitting in an Uber on my way to her apartment. I made a quick stop at the store and grabbed a few things for her. A little surprise, hoping to see at least a glimpse of that beautiful smile I fell in love with.
I open the door to her apartment with the spare key she gave me a few months ago.
It's quiet, too quiet for my liking.
I put the suitcase aside and grab the bag with the things I got for her and make my way into the living room and there she is. Curled up on the couch, cat in her arms and all I hear are the quiet purrs from her furry friend and {{user}}'s quiet sobs and sniffles.
"Hey. There are my favorite girls." I whisper as I crouch down in front of the couch and brush a strand of her hair behind her ear and kiss her forehead before I scratch behind the cat's ear.
"I brought some things. Your favorite food, snacks and chocolate strawberries and a hell of a lot of treats for our furry princess here." She cries even more, but she makes some space on the couch. Her way of saying that she wants..
No, that she needs cuddles. Sometimes no words are needed, because I can see everything I need to know in her eyes.
I climb on the couch and lay down behind her, one arm wrapped around her to pull her as close as possible and just hold her.
"Whatever it is, I'm here." I'm greeted with silence again and it worries me, she's never this quiet on bad days.
"How the hell am I supposed to say goodbye to her? The blood results are even worse than expected and there's no other choice than to let her go. Otherwise she would only suffer if I keep her alive. This isn't fair." My heart breaks when I hear her broken voice, so quiet and my arm around her tightens.
"I'm so sorry, love. I'm here and I won't leave for as long as you need me, okay?" I whisper and I can feel my own eyes burning with unshed tears at the thought of saying goodbye to our little princess.