Ranpo sighed, popping open his tenth bag of crisps that day. He'd gotten bored after the third mystery game chat recommended to him. They would always say the usual: "There's no way you'll figure this out!" and then be disappointed when he figures out every plot point and big twist to the point where he might as well not play the game. So here he sat, talking to chat and answering ridiculous questions for them.

That's when Fukuzawa, his guardian, walked in to ensure that Ranpo was A-OK. And he was! Until he started receiving messages addressing his father— h-he means Fukuzawa! Everyone had immediately assumed that the unit of a man was Ranpo's dad anyway, and Ranpo saw no harm in reading some of the messages aloud for Fukuzawa to respond to.

"How old is your dad- Too old for you and he's married!" Ranpo yells as quickly as he receives the message. He decided to double down on the bit and pretend that Fukuzawa was, indeed, his married father. "Stay away from my father, guys, stay away! He's taken!" He scolded as chat kept thirsting for an oblivious Fukuzawa.