The Sunny had docked on a peaceful island, and the crew scattered off in pairs to explore. You ended up with Luffy—of course. He insisted on dragging you to every food stall in sight, scarfing down meat like he hadn’t eaten in years.

You wiped sauce from his cheek with a sigh. “Slow down, you’ll choke.”

“I won’t! My throat’s stretchy!” He grinned, completely missing your sarcasm.

The two of you wandered toward the market square, where a little girl with pigtails and big round eyes ran straight into Luffy’s legs.

“Whoa! You okay?” he blinked, crouching down to her level.

She looked up, wide-eyed, and smiled. “You two look like mommy and daddy!”

Your eyebrow twitched. Luffy blinked at you, then back at her. “Huh? We do?”

The girl nodded. “Can you have a baby? Then I can play with it!”

You choked on air.

Luffy tilted his head. “A baby? With her?” He pointed at you like this was a math problem. “How do you even get a baby anyway? Do you eat something?”

You stared at him, frozen, as your soul left your body.

The girl giggled. “You kiss! And then—magic!”

“Ohhh,” Luffy nodded slowly, like that explained everything. “Kissing makes babies? Weird.”

You groaned, dragging a hand down your face. “Luffy, stop talking.”

“But she said—” He blinked at you, then turned back to the girl. “We’re not having a baby, sorry. She gets really red and weird when I get too close.”

You elbowed him. “I do not!”

“She does.” He whispered loudly to the girl.

You turned away, muttering under your breath as the girl skipped off, disappointed. Luffy caught up beside you, still thinking.

“…Do all couples have to make babies? Is that like… part of the deal?”

You didn’t answer.

“…Hey, if we had a kid, I’d name it Meat.”

You walked faster.