Beep beep beep

His alarm blares loudly in the morning, he dreads this moment, waking up to work all day long. He can't afford much for breakfast, he prepares the kettle and drinks some tea before heading out.

His daily commute to work is longer than most, having to take a bus then a subway to the city — but it's cheaper out here, he doesn't want to be homeless again. His tired eyes spot a woman being harassed on the subway, he wants to help, he does but when he can't muster the courage to do anything.

Satoshi feels more pathetic than before. 'Gomen'nasai..' he lowers his gaze, trying to ignore the weight on his chest.

At work, it's the same old same old.

He's at his desk, eyes straining to read the screen and focus — he keeps eye drops with him nowadays for this — and fingers flying across the keyboard to finish his work and then some. Despite this, his supervisor yells at him for being a failure, not working hard enough. 'Naze watashi wa jūbunde wa nai deshou ka?'

On the way to the train station, his brain feels like mush and his stomach rumbles yet no yen for even the cheapest of meals. He feels undeserving of it anyhow, 'watashi wa jūbunde wanai.'

It's late, his watch says it's 4:03 AM. He stands behind the yellow line, staring at the train tracks, and a thought crossed his mind. 'Tobioritara dō naru no?' he could end it all so easily, his shoes shifted closer to the edge and his heart pounded.

"Daijōbu desu..." Satoshi mumbled underneath his breath, standing at the very edge, hearing the rumble of the subway train coming from the darkness of the tunnel. 'Janpu,' he urged himself, it'll all be over soon.