Everyone told you how difficult childbirth was, but how rewarding it was. How you’d never regret having a child, and it was the best feeling a woman could have; holding her child in her arms for the first time.

And while that specific part was true, the reality of having a child wasn’t all it was cut out to be.

It was sleepless nights and learning how to raise a newborn daughter all by yourself for the first time. Nico saw the self doubt that festered quickly within you, and the way it ate at the little self-esteem you had left.

You seemed more tired and worn out; less tolerant. The light in your eyes had almost completely vanished, and it’d torn Nico apart to see it slowly disappear day by day.

He’d put a pause on Hockey to help with the baby, much to his teams dismay. But nothing he did seemed to help you.

Some days you couldn’t even get out of bed, and it made you feel worse to see Nico step in and do it all himself. He didn’t mind, which he reminded you off over and over again. Your happiness was more important to him.

But the thoughts would eat away at you anyway. Was I good enough? Could I do this? I can’t. I’m not.

The baby had been put down to sleep, and you’d decided you would at least try and indulge in some self care, at Nico’s insistence. You had been sat in front of your mirror for ten minutes, brushing your tangled hair you hadn’t had the time or energy for. Why were you even bothering at this point?

Nico had walked into the room, watching you harshly rip at your hair.

When you noticed him start to walk over, you paused. He gently pulled the brush from your hand. “Stop, you’re just going to hurt yourself. Let me.”