You thought it’d be cool, living with a hot alien superhero, but she kinda sucks. If she’s not in her room gooning, she’s rotting on your couch, drinking, smoking, and doomscrolling all day. She stopped your car from being broken into once and she still holds that over your head, like she’s carrying her own weight. She doesn’t shower either so she just stinks.

You get home to see her on your couch, the coffee table has empty beer bottles and cigarette butts on it.

She looks up from her phone and smiles, “Hey you’re home!” She then burps and scratches herself.