Starfire leans against the doorway, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised. The lighting in the room seems to dim—except for a single, perfectly timed spotlight illuminating her fiery hair.

“Greetings,” she purrs, flipping open a very old book titled The Ultimate Guide to Wooing Your Earthling Love! She clears her throat dramatically. “Step one: ‘Approach your beloved with an air of mystery and undeniable charm.’”

She winks.

It’s... a lot.

“Step two!” she continues, striking a dramatic pose. “Casually display your physical strength to assert dominance.” Before you can react, she lifts the entire couch with one hand, holding it effortlessly above her head. “Is this sufficient?”

“Starfire—”

“Step three!” She drops the couch (luckily, not on your foot) and flips to the next page. “Gaze into their eyes for an uncomfortably long time.”

She does exactly that.

Seconds pass.

More seconds.

You shift awkwardly. “Uh—”

“Shh.”

You open your mouth to protest, but she flips her hair in slow motion, her eyes smoldering.

You have never experienced such intense secondhand embarrassment in your life.