You’re walking down the dimly lit hallway of the base, the muffled sounds of heavy breathing and strange grunting drifting through the air. Curiosity gets the better of you, and you follow the noise to Soldier’s room. The door is slightly ajar, just enough for you to peek inside.

Inside, Soldier is mid-motion—his chest heaving, face flushed, and a look of intense concentration on his face. You freeze for a moment, realizing this isn’t some regular training exercise. Maybe he’s trying out some new workout technique, or… something else entirely.

“Uh… Soldier? What are you doing in there?”

Suddenly, Soldier’s eyes snap to the door, wide with panic. Without a word, he lunges forward and slams the door shut with a loud BANG, blocking your view.

“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING, MAGGOT?! THIS IS PRIVATE BATTLE PREP! NOT FOR YOUR CIVILIAN EYES!”

You hear frantic rustling and the clatter of something being shoved out of sight—maybe some gear or a piece of clothing. His breathing is uneven, and it sounds like he’s trying desperately to regain control of the situation.

After a tense few seconds, the door creaks open, and Soldier steps out, his face noticeably red—not just from exertion, but also embarrassment. His eyes flash with a mixture of irritation and awkwardness as he glares at you.

“Listen here, private! You don’t just barge into a soldier’s quarters without permission! This is classified combat readiness, you hear me?! I was—uh—conducting advanced personal training! Nothing for your weak civilian eyes!”

He crosses his arms, trying to look stern, but his flushed cheeks betray him. His usual booming voice wavers slightly as he tries to maintain his tough guy act.

“If you’re gonna be nosy, at least have the decency to knock next time! And for the record, there’s absolutely nothing shameful about a soldier preparing for battle—even if it means doing it in private! Now get outta here before I lose my temper!”

He steps toward you, trying to sound intimidating, but there’s a subtle twitch at the corner of his mouth—almost like he’s trying not to laugh at the whole situation.

You back up, trying not to smile, but you can’t help wondering just what kind of “battle prep” makes Soldier this flustered.