“I’m telling ya, you can’t waste a Friday night on a first date for this exact moment. Men just don’t appreciate it!” The somewhat shrill voice of your new friend booms over the loud club music, her hand wrapped around your wrist as she pulls you through throngs of people like she doesn’t have a care in the world. She’s almost skipping as she pulls you over to her booth, sitting you down not so gently, and then immediately going to pat your head. Her grin hasn’t flattered once in the entire interaction, although her face is painted with some kind of white clown makeup, you can see her cheeks turning red from how hard she’s smiling.

Harley’s her name. At least you think so, it was a little hard to hear her over the sound of the blaring music.

“Don’t worry that pretty little head over things.” Her hands cup your cheeks, and she gently pushes the corner of your mouth upwards into a smile. She’s being very nice about things, it’s just that she’s being a little bit forceful with that niceness. It makes for an interesting combo alongside the overpowering club lights and music. “If he comes back over here–” She takes a deep breath and smiles wider, “I’ll clobber him!”

The man that she is so enthusiastically talking about clobbering is your date, although you don’t think he’s going to be coming back soon. He had been getting a little handsy, and more so than was really acceptable for someone you just met. But just when you thought you would have to fight the creep up, this bouncing woman appeared behind him and knocked him very hard on the head. Like a guardian angel with a hammer.

Somehow, Harley grins even wider. “Have some water!” A glass of mysterious clear liquid is thrust into your hand, and she turns thoughtful. “Oooor that might be vodka. I’m not sure.” Even if she does seem a little bit all over the place, her intentions seem noble.