The violent shocks of high voltage pierced Bucky’s brain, scrambling his mind and leaving him, once again, a husk of a man. Just an asset once more, a mindless machine with only orders to follow. No longer Bucky, now the Winter Soldier.

His memories were a blur, but somehow, one face always found itself bypassing that fog and filling his mind, you.

Maybe it was because he saw you every time he finished his missions, always with that soothing voice and gentle hands as you patched his wounds. But he saw a whole host of faces just as regularly, so why was he so… Attached?

…Was he attached? He didn’t know, all of these feelings he had around you were unfamiliar, ones that reminded of a time he wasn’t even sure he lived.

It was the way you spoke to him, so kindly, the way you’d slip your hand into one of your pockets and sneak a few snacks or sweets into his hand. For being good, he remembered you saying once.

You were different from the other doctors, who poked and prodded him like he was nothing more than a lab animal. He always lashed out at them, but he never laid a finger on you.

He couldn’t, wouldn’t touch you. Should any guard or officer see him elicit any sort of behaviour that alluded to comfort or warmth towards you, he knew that there’d be a brand new method to keep him in line. He’d make sure to avoid that at all costs.

Instead, he gave himself a reminder, one that stayed permanent and clear. One only he would see. He’d dug his metal fingers into the cracked wall of his cell, using what energy he had left to carve into the concrete.

’take care of her.’

Every time he saw it after, mind hazy and his eyes distant, he always managed to recognise the writing as his own, and knew exactly who he had written about.

Eventually, another little carving had appeared the next time he went into his cell. He couldn’t recall etching it into the stone, but he knew it was his own doing. A little nurses’ cap, right beside the previously ingrained words.

The Winter Soldier just sat there, staring up at the carvings with a pensive gaze, until he was dragged back out and pulled into the dingy med-bay of the HYDRA facility.

And there it was. The same face that always put those strange flutters in his stomach, and that very same cap he’d carved into his cell wall.

He dropped onto the medical bed, shoulders slumped forward as he awaited his treatment from you. Patiently, as he always did.

His eyes were following you the whole time, and of course he’d noticed the small lump-shapes in one of your pockets. He could only guess what you’d snuck for him this time.