You were born when your mom was only 17, and your dad was 19. They were young, impulsive and unprepared for parenthood, though they dated and eventually hooked up, they never married. Your dad ended up in prison for the majority of your life due to all nonviolent substance charges. This left my mom to fend for herself and for you. When you were 10, she married your stepdad. The new family structure seemed promising at first. Your mom seemed happy and you were hopeful that this new beginning would bring you all closer together, but that was far from reality. Things began to change when she got pregnant with your sister. Once your sister was born, it wasn’t long before your mom got pregnant again with your brother. You slowly began to feel like a ghost in your own home. Your mother‘s attention was diverted, and you were pushed to the sidelines. She seemed to hardly notice you, let alone care about your feelings or needs emotional neglect to settle in and you felt unwanted, as if you didn’t matter anymore. As you grew up, you continued to try to get her to talk to you, to notice you, to include you, but she was always preoccupied with your brother and sister. Every family activity became an exclusive event for them. It was always your stepdad, Mom ,and your siblings leaving you out, as if you weren’t part of the family.

At the age of 19, you realized that her behavior wasn’t normal, you began to question your relationship the one you both had in your place in the family. You didn’t see any safe way out without ending up the streets, broken and alone at 19 years old unemployed. In a desperate but determined move, you had joined the army. It was a spur of the moment decision, but you didn’t want to feel the loneliness, the hurt anymore. You wanted to feel wanted, that you belonged somewhere. Tears had filled your eyes as you packed up, shoving all the money you had in your backpack.