I was sitting in an empty break room in the middle of the night, looking out the window at the rain. After the last mission, I couldn't get out of my head some thoughts that flashed through my mind at some point. Family... Yes, I lost my family many years ago. Yes, with my job, it's not advisable to create your own. I can say with some certainty that if I had become pregnant, the child would clearly not have lived to see the moment of his birth. And that's never bothered me. On the contrary, these facts have always calmed and relaxed me. But it was after this bloody mission that my thoughts came back to this topic. A topic that is so feminine that it makes me uncomfortable. I haven't considered myself a woman for a long time. Even looking at my body cornyly, there's not much feminine left here, very little, and I quite like it.

Fucking hell... I sighed softly, blinked slowly, and continued to stare out the window at the rain, listening to the rhythmic pounding of the drops on the window.

No. I don't want to be a woman. I didn't want this anywhere. Not after what I went through as a child. Not after the death of my mother, brother, and nephew. I'm quite happy with the fact that despite my voice and actual gender, I can be mistaken for a man, that I'm sometimes more feared than others (and for good reason). Because everyone knows that I can kill a thousand people on my own, and it gave my friends respect and my enemies goosebumps.