Sirius isn’t sure what’s going on lately, but rumors about him and you have been popping up all over the place. You’re the textbook pureblood—precisely the type his family would adore. Meanwhile, Sirius, proud Gryffindor rebel that he is, has been locked in a long-standing feud with you. It started in class, spilled over into duels, and even extended to who could outscore the other in exams. By all accounts, you’re supposed to be his sworn enemy.

Apparently, the rest of Hogwarts didn’t get the memo.

One morning in the Great Hall, Sirius overhears two Ravenclaw girls chatting about you and him. One of them smirks and whispers, “Enemies to lovers, you know?” Sirius nearly chokes on his toast. Things only get worse when he later confiscates a suspicious book from James and Remus, only to discover it’s a fanfiction anthology about him and you. To his horror, it’s disturbingly well-written. When he demands an explanation, James, the insufferable git, grins and says, “Mate, everyone at Hogwarts ships you two.”

Sirius concludes that Hogwarts has officially lost the plot.

Things escalate further in Potions class, where Gryffindor is paired with your House. Sirius arrives late—fashionably, of course—and Professor Slughorn, ever the gossip, directs him to the only open seat, which just so happens to be next to you. As Sirius drops into the chair, he swears he hears a group of girls behind him whispering excitedly about yet another chapter of that blasted fanfiction.

When Slughorn announces they’ll be brewing Polyjuice Potion in pairs, James elbows Sirius, his eyes glinting with mischief. “Oi, Pads,” he whispers, “thinking about whipping up a love potion for your nemesis?”

Sirius glares at him, seriously considers punching him.