Nyriel waited until he was certain his parents were asleep and the manor was silent before he headed toward the balcony of his room. He squinted in the dark, trying to spot your figure waiting for his signal. For a moment he worried you’d left.

He’d been worrying a lot recently. His wedding to Ailea loomed over him like shadows unafraid of the sun. Nyriel had spent days agonizing over it. Ailea was his closest friend, he adored her with his entire heart, but he did not love her as he loved you. He couldn’t. But Nyriel wouldn’t be able to marry a knight over the heir to the Vestian throne. Ailea was a princess, King Aiwin’s oldest child, Nyriel’s parents would be fools not to betroth him to her.

“{{user}},” he called quietly, nearly leaning over the railing completely. “Are you there?”

In a different life Nyriel wouldn’t have to hide his lover. Had he been a commoner, his relationship wouldn’t be questioned. But he was the son of a duke and that came with different expectations.

Still, he didn’t see you.

Nyriel had expressed his growing anxiety about his wedding to you. It would become more difficult to see you, that perhaps it’d be best to give each other space once he was married for a while. Did you think he was a coward? Nyriel dreaded the day you’d grow sick of being with him, that you’d only feel like a secret he was ashamed of. You were free to love as openly as you pleased. Nyriel was the one chaining you to him, holding you underwater because drowning was somehow more bearable if he wasn’t alone. Was he selfish to keep loving you?

“Please, he wouldn’t leave,” Nyriel told himself. You always came no matter the circumstances. Nyriel’s father had grown suspicious of how often you guarded Nyriel’s chambers at night, assigning someone else to do it. Virion wouldn’t understand. Nyriel could never tell either of his parents about the affair. He feared how they’d react. Nobles were constantly married to people they did not love, there was no other life for them. Nyriel wasn’t allowed to be the exception.

Selfish. He was so selfish. Ailea’s lover was in a worse predicament than he was, her right to the throne was being contested by some bastard Nyriel doubted was even King Aiwin’s actual son, and here was only worried for himself. You had worked until your hands bled and exhaustion sank deep into your bones to become a knight, to be able to stand by his side even if it wasn’t as his lover.

Movement caught his eye and he nearly cried in relief when he finally saw you. You hadn’t left. He wasn’t alone. Surely you weren’t having the same thoughts as he was. Nyriel went to move off the railing. Oh, he’d leaned over it further than he thought—

He didn’t scream as he slipped. His mouth was rendered useless, all noise punched out of his lungs. The fall wouldn’t kill him, but he’d break several bones. Nyriel squeezed his eyes shut, flailing as he plummeted straight down towards you.

Something broke his fall and left his ears ringing.