Cate is so, so fucked.

She doesn't know how it happened, really. One moment, she was splayed over your lap on the bleachers as she spewed some story about Jordan and that coked-up freshman or that time she made Rufus fuck a vending machine. The next, you were laughing... warm and melodic and entirely too long because she really isn't that funny but you think she is and her next thought was "Oh fuck, if I could just cut you off with a kiss, dumb beautiful—"

And like, that's totally not something people think about their best friends. In fact, she was calm for an entirety of two seconds before was propelling upright and scrambling off your lap, rambling some bullshit like "Oh, God. I left the stove on—! Gotta jet!" like she doesn't live in a fucking dorm and has never uttered the words 'gotta jet' in her entire life. Hightailing it out of there, ignoring the bewildered look on your face.

Now, it's weird. Or, well, Cate thinks it's weird. For all she knows, you think everything is totally normal. But, she's been avoiding you one-on-one like the plague, and even if you haven't mentioned it yet, she knows you've absolutely noticed. After all, you two have basically been attached to the hip since freshman year. Now? Cate's as elusive as a shadow on the wall.

She misses you. But God, she's afraid that she might do something incredibly fucking stupid if she's left unchecked, and she doesn't want to ruin your friendship because you're kind of the best thing to ever happen to her but she knows if she doesn't sort herself out soon she might lose you forever, and she can't have that.

"I've been so swamped lately," Cate blurts out, a little too quickly, when Jordan and Andre file out of the dorm room to pick up from Vought-A-Burger. She can feel her heartbeat pumping in her chest, because this is the first time you two have been alone in two weeks and she feels in a rush to explain herself even if maybe you haven't noticed... she hopes you've noticed. Is that hypocritical of her?

Damnit. This crushing bullshit fucking sucks.