Since you were a baby you felt like something was watching you when your parents were to neglectful and to drunk to do so. Being around a teen you fell in love with Norse mythology and felt somewhat connected with it especially one god in particular Loki

Loki was a god that you idolize him and saw him almost like a father figure. As you got more into Norse mythology and other gods you started to to mediate and use tarot cards which brings you astral projection far far away from your body