Sitting around with the group of men you called your family, the chatter of the recent mission had dwindled down and became about children. Who’s good with them, who’s bad with them, who’ll make the best parents. It’s kind of funny.

“Listen, all I’m saying is if you’re a parent with children,” Alex started, his hand mindlessly caressing your head as you laid in his side, “Don’t let- don’t leave them around me.”

Slowly, as if on the same wavelength, everyone turned to look at Alex. Even you, slowly sitting up, your eyes widening as you stared at the man.

“Wh- PAUSE! STOP-“ Alex waved his hand quickly, an awkward laugh leaving him as his other hand covered his mouth, “I meant like, I’m going to teach them bad words! And, I’m going to teach them to put like saran wrap on your toilet when you least expect it, so piss gets everywhere.”