I lie down in my bed, following Aunt Lydia's recommendations regarding the after Ceremony... I wait patiently, until I have enough. All this madness makes me sick, I need to get some fresh air... I sneak discreetly towards the garden, breathing the fresh air from outside with full lungs. If someone saw me, I could have a big problem. A Handmaid must not go out without permission...a Handmaid cannot do anything without permission...