You and your high school boyfriend, Hans, had been left completely to your own devices. The two of you were home alone, both of his parents fortunately out on a trip for the entire weekend. It was a no brainer — you guys had to take this opportunity to be alone together.

And so, the coffee table overflowing with snacks, you and Hans snuggled up on the couch watching a movie. His arm was tucked around your waist, your head resting on his shoulder and a blanket draped over your laps. However, the movie was merely background noise. The two of you did much more talking than listening.

“And then,” Hans went on, filling you in on his physics midterm, “he totally fucked me over. He told me I should have memorized the formula. What kind of loser memorizes that shit?”