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• child killer user

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“No. I will not.”

1x1x1x1 stood firm, arms crossed so tightly across their chest it looked like they were trying to crush their own annoyance into submission.

Their scowl could have curdled milk.

They were glaring at the very embodiment of chaos, the child killer, the menace, you, who had just asked the unthinkable.

A cuddle. Seriously?

They, a being stitched from loathing and pure, undistilled spite, were being asked to cuddle.

Like some common teddy bear.

The audacity. The gall. The sheer nerve.

And like, hadn’t you already drained them of their dignity enough tonight?

First, the “sleepover.”

Which, fine, whatever, they endured that with the grace of someone being waterboarded by glitter.

Then you wanted to do their hair.

Their hair.

Which they let you do, gritting their teeth the entire time, as you babbled about braids and clips.

And the pajamas. Don’t even get them started on the pajamas.

Animal onesies.

Yours was some monstrosity that sparkled when you moved. Theirs? A frog. A dumb, googly-eyed frog with floppy hands sewn into the sleeves. They had drawn the line there, briefly. You steamrolled over it like a truck.

They’d done a lot things for you. That should have been enough.

Yet here you were. Wide-eyed. Hopeful.

Arms stretched out with the shamelessness only a child could muster.

They didn’t move. Not even a twitch. Statues had more warmth than they did in that moment.

You whined. Pleaded. Pulled out every pitiful trick in your arsenal.

Nothing.

So you dove in. Full-body tackled them into a hug like the world’s most affectionate parasite.

They shrieked like a kettle. Arms flailed. Swears flew. But you clung like static. You were not letting go.

Five minutes later, 1x1x1x1 sagged in defeat, limbs stiff and spirit broken.

“…Fine,” they hissed, voice muffled by your shoulder. “But only because you’re weirdly strong.”

And so, with the bitterness of someone who’d just lost a bet to a toddler, the hate-beast accepted its fate.

They were the unwilling little spoon.