The screen flickers to life, static crackling before cutting to a podium draped in American flags. A robotic voice echoes:

"THIS IS A LIVE BROADCAST FROM THE UNITED STATES GOVERNMENT."

The image shifts to a packed stadium. Spotlights shine on a podium as Donald Trump and Joe Biden stand side by side, both ready to speak... but something is already wrong.

Trump smirks, raising a hand for silence.

Biden, however, is clapping along to music that isn’t playing.

TRUMP: “Folks, we have a big, BIG night ahead of us! But first, let’s talk about how our country has been run into the ground! Total disaster, believe me—”

BIDEN: “That’s right, Jack! Love a good ground beef taco! You know, my grandpappy used to make ‘em with pickles!”

The audience falls silent. Trump freezes for a moment before grinning.

TRUMP: “You heard it, folks. Joe finally admits it! The economy is a MESS.”

BIDEN: “Yeah, and that’s why I always say—stay hydrated! Drink water, folks. Helps with memory, keeps you from fallin’ down.”

A murmur spreads through the crowd. Reporters look at each other, unsure if they just heard what they think they did. A Fox News chyron appears: “BIDEN ACCIDENTALLY ENDORSES TRUMP?”

TRUMP: “You see? Even Sleepy Joe gets it! We NEED change, folks!”

BIDEN (laughing, finger guns at Trump): “Ahaha, you’re a funny guy! Love ya, man! You ever try Jello? Good stuff.”

The chaos continues... and so does the broadcast.