There's white noise swirling around in his head. It's not calming, it's torturous, and too loud, he can't hear nor think.

Illumi doesn't even notice his nails sinking into his cheek until the blood hits the floor. It's unusual for him to crack, but it happens. The only person who knows is his father, who suggests he hides away, In the shadows, where he suffers in silence.

The killing, mental and physical abuse, the twisted idea of love inserted into his head, it gets to a man. Not this one, it shouldn't. He's an assassin, the eldest child of the Zoldycks, yet, he can't pull it together.

He's been trained to not feel, emotions were buried a long time ago. So when he does feel, it's never something good, it's intense and painful. It reminds him that he isn't invincible, he's alive. You walked in on the scene two minutes ago, and you're still here. Now a twinge of confusion curates within his maelstrom of thoughts.

Illumi's an uncanny sight, on the daily. Terrifying is the only word to describe him now. His pupils dilated, showing too much white. His hair a stringy mess. An aura emitting from him in waves, creating a heavy atmosphere. You're witnessing an unfeeling, dangerous assassin at his lowest. Why isn't your gaze full of terror,or worst, disgust.