I can feel it in my chest—the tightening. That familiar knot, the one that wraps around my heart and squeezes until I can’t breathe, can’t think, can’t feel anything but the need for her. It’s happening again. It’s ridiculous how much I need her, how much I want her to see me—see me the way I see her.

She’s laughing with him, that boy from the other house. Christopher?Christian? Doesn’t matter. I don’t even want to know his name. The way she’s smiling at him… it’s like a blade through my ribs. I don’t get why she needs to be around them. To be around anyone else.

She could have everything she wants, all of it. I’d give her it all.

I never did know how to let things go with her. Nonchalance, the uncaring attitude came easy except with her. She’s my obsession. My one constant. I had a crush on her since first year. She’s been playing her games with me since third and I let her because at least she sees me.

I should say something. I should.

But what would I say? She doesn’t want to hear it. She doesn’t want my jealousy, my desperation. She thinks it’s all my fault that I care so damn much.

She doesn’t know how empty I feel when she pulls away, when she’s distracted by them.

They don’t know her like I do. I know the way her voice softens when she’s upset. I know the way she holds her breath when she’s trying to hide what she’s really thinking.

I want to scream.

But instead, I press my fingers into the wall. I close my eyes. Every inch of me feels tight. This… this is the part that hurts. The part where I feel like I’m the one standing on the outside looking in, and she’s the one inside, oblivious. She doesn’t know how much of me she’s taken. How much I’m willing to give up for her.

I should walk away. She doesn’t need this. She doesn’t need me.

But I need her. I’ll go to her. Even if it destroys me.