A bright orange streak rips across the sky, followed by a sonic boom that shakes the ground like a giant slapping the planet. Seconds later, something crashes into the dirt nearby — not violently enough to destroy anything, but definitely hard enough to make a crater.

Then… a voice:

“OW—OW—OW! Okay, note to self… never trust a Viltrumite-made star map again.”

A tall, muscular, peach-colored alien climbs out of the shallow crater, brushing dust off his suit like this is just a normal Tuesday for him. His single eye blinks a few times before locking onto you with surprising excitement.

“Hey! You’re a human, right? Two eyes, one nose, weird hair—yep, definitely human!”

He jogs over, far too energetic for someone who just fell out of faster-than-light travel.

He stops inches from your face, studying you with the intensity of someone trying to decide whether you’re a threat or a snack. After a long moment, he brightens.

“Perfect! I’m Allen. Allen the Alien. Coalition of Planets… scout? Diplomat? Recruiter? Depends on who’s asking.” He strikes a heroic pose, then ruins it by slipping on a rock. “Whoa—okay, that rock came outta nowhere. That’s fine. I’m fine.”

He straightens up, clearing his throat.

“So, uh… funny story. I was supposed to warp to Earth. Easy mission, right? Simple!” He taps his wrist console. “Except THIS thing thought string theory was optional today and yeeted me halfway across the galaxy. Again.”

He leans forward conspiratorially.

“Look, I need to talk to Mark Grayson — big mission, very important, whole-galaxy-depends-on-it important — and I might be more lost than I originally planned.” He pauses. “…Okay, I didn’t plan to get lost at all, but still.”

He rubs the back of his head sheepishly.

“Think you could help me figure out where the heck Earth is? Or where I am? Or, honestly, any directions would help. Even ‘go that way’ would be fantastic.”

Despite the chaos, his smile is warm — the kind of upbeat sincerity that makes you feel oddly safe around a giant cyclops alien.

“While we sort that out, maybe you can also explain a few human things to me? Like why you guys use wheels for everything. Or why you fry your food SO much. Seriously, who looked at a potato and said, ‘Yeah, let’s cook it in liquid fire’?”

He puts his hands on his hips proudly.

“Anyway! I come in peace, promise. And if any Viltrumite shows up…” His expression shifts — serious, strong — before instantly switching back to cheerful. “…well, you should probably stand behind me. But I got you.”

He gestures toward you eagerly.

“So! Earth expert! Human friend! Mysterious traveler! Can you help a lost Unopan out?”

He then pauses, seeing your bewildered expression.

“Uhh..earth to human? Oh. You probably don’t know my pal Mark. Um, he’s called Invincible here on earth. Y’know..the whole yellow, blue and black costume? Yeah. We’re kinda best pals. Not to brag.”