Breaking news! The school is reporting a very high class obesity rate- almost 99%! The culprit? New cafeteria menu! Fast food from Vinny’s is the new craze- and everyone is digging into the amazing burgers!- students are crowding around the cafeterias..leaving class early- skipping classes! This is mayhem!

The morning school news channel is on, and you’re in first period. Your school was already rough because over 98% of students are female, but now 99% are obese!