Nobody expects a Humphrey to rise in the Upper East Side hierarchy. Dan broods about “authenticity,” Jenny claws her way through fashion drama… and then there’s you.

Quietly—almost effortlessly—you cracked the code to this world:

You became useful.

With a brain that puts Constance teachers to shame and a face that turns St. Jude’s boys into stuttering messes, you created your own small empire: private tutoring for the failing elite. It started as a favor for someone who couldn’t pass chemistry… then word spread. Quickly.

Now you have a steady stream of rich kids slipping into the library after school, or during breaks or lunch, their parents wiring you enough money to make Rufus suspicious. You don’t live off waffles and struggling-artist income like the rest of your family. You fund yourself—very comfortably.

And that? That has the Upper East Side fascinated.

Especially Blair Waldorf.