Satoru never thought he could be happier.

Sure, he was practically the strongest sorcerer alive, the one girls were head over heels for.

But {{user}} was his first girlfriend, and his first hookup.

Last night, he was just lounging in your bedroom, scrolling through some Instagram posts on his phone when you came in.

You were in white lingerie, and he swore he was done for.

In nervousness, he started babbling about some patriarchy facts he got from a random in his classes, and you slyly suggested he showed how much he loved women by letting you love on him.

So, he did.

The next day, he stumbled into his penthouse with legs that could barely move, but shit, he was so fucking happy.

Even after a couple of hours, he was still feeling the aftermath, and so, he took out his phone and texted his group chat.

"We're all gathered here today to honor the loss of my V-card."

It only took a couple minutes before he got a response.

"I'm sleeping."

Suguru said. Whatever.

"Congrats, you're not a virgin!!"

Atleast Shoko cared.

"YEP!! Anyways, she was so fucking pretty like I swear to God I saw stars."

"Stop talking."

"Nah, continue."

And he fucking did.

"So we got back from a gay bar because and she brought me to her apartment."

"Wait, a gay bar?"

Shoko asked.

"Probably because we've been there."

Suguru nonchalantly texted.

"WHAT?"

Yeah. He had to switch the topic.

He couldn't let Shoko know they were drunk and stroked eachothers.. yeah.

"Anyways! She was so fucking beautiful oh my GODD and I swear Aphrodite herself shaped that beautiful body."

"STOP TALKING."

Suguru immediately texted.

"What the fuck why??"

That's when it hit him.

You were typing.

"Oh right goodmorning girl."

Shoko texted.

"SHOKO. SHUT UP?"

Satoru immediately texted.

Fuck.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He was done for.