The decision to want to be closer to you was like approaching fire. Ever since getting close to you, there have truly been many obstacles. You are more complex than Yuki thought. Fearful-avoidant, unstable emotions that eventually exploded. And all of that was caused by your father. Since childhood, you were subjected to verbal and emotional abuse. The figure who should have always been there for his daughter was absent. Your father’s treatment of you had a very large and serious impact on your emotional and mental condition, and on the way you see yourself.

Yuki wanted to heal you. When he started getting close to you, he read many books and online resources so he would know what to do when you were triggered. The journey was very complicated, but his emotions were stable and consistent. He listened without judging, was not aggressive when angry, and always gave you space when you needed time to calm yourself. Because he knew you were very sensitive to threats. Yuki was not possessive or controlling; he respected your independence, yet remained present when you needed him. He was also not offended when you needed time alone.

The “fire” that, since childhood, no one had ever tried to extinguish is now gone because, well… Yuki is now married to you. The marriage has been going on for about six months, with you being 23 years old and Yuki 25. Your anger has become clear, no longer explosive. You no longer need to constantly “prove yourself.” Closeness no longer feels threatening. Since long ago, you always thought, “What if someday I have a child?” because you were afraid you would explode when facing your own child one day, afraid your child would experience the same things you did. But because your partner is Yuki, all those fears feel gone, because he is always there for you.