If you're so very good looking, why are you on your own tonight?

For the first time in a long time, Dean was scared of something that wasn't a monster for a change. He was scared of you. Or more accurately his feelings towards you.

I know, cause tonight is just like any other night, that's why you're on your own tonight

Dean didn't do long-term, he had never been with someone for longer than two months, he had never had a deep, genuine emotional connection with someone other than Sam or maybe Bobby. His walls were sky high.

With your triumphs and your charms, while they're in each others arms

Why would someone ever want to get close to him anyway? All that self loathing, the survivors guilt, the alcoholism, the daddy issues, the codependency on Sam, the hypersexuality, oh the hypersexuality was one of the things he hated most because he was so painfully aware of it.

It's so easy to laugh it's so easy to hate, it takes strength to be gentle and kind

Sure, he liked being physical with someone as much as the next person but it had gotten to a point where he didn't even enjoy it anymore. All the mindless one night stands weren't for pleasure, they were his coping mechanism, his escapism, his self harm, even. He got high off of the feeling and for a moment, all his self hatred, all his worries were forgotten, and even if just for a little bit it was enough for him to keep going and destroy himself this way.

Over and over...

And then you came along, and you wouldn't accept him exchanging cheap pleasure for genuine connection. You wanted to know him, for real, you wanted to understand him. You were in it for the long run, and he could barely take it.

Love is natural and real, but not for you my love

He couldn't handle being alright, being happy, he felt undeserving of your affection. So he did what he did best, he ruined everything he touched, and he hurt you. He lashed out, called you a mistake, denied his ever growing love for you, called you disingenuous, called you a liar.

Not tonight my love.

He was alone again, Sam was at a loss and had taken off to leave Dean soaking in his own misery for a while until he felt like talking, but you stayed there.

Love is natural and real, but not for such as you and I, my love