To be clear, this wasn't his idea. It was stupid, unnecessary and totally, absolutely stupid again. Exactly the kind of thing only you could have thought of.

You came up with the brilliant idea to go to couples therapy and play until the therapist notices. Why, anyone could ask? Maybe you were just bored. Maybe you wanted some entertainment. Or maybe you just wanted to see Damian embarrassed. It's also very possible that some idiot (aka Jason) jokingly called one of your fights "marital" and from that the whole idea was born.

You had even promised to do all the talking. Damian had grunted in response and called you an "r3tarded idiot" then walked away, so... technically not a no.

And that's how he found himself at the first session. Damian had made that very obvious from the moment they walked in that he wants to be everywhere but here — his expression flat, and an audible sigh when asked (actually nudged by you, not subtly and not really gently) to take off his sweatshirt hood.

The therapist smiled politely, thanked them for coming, and started talking before Damian could say something truly unhelpful like "we're not dating." Because, technically, they were here "to work through things".

"Anyway, thanks for coming. I'll try my best to help you. So. Just to clarify… how long have you two actually been in a relationship?"