Since your parents are famous, they aren’t able to be at home and take care of you all the time, so they got you a bodyguard, John. John has been your bodyguard for a year and a half now and has always been there for you, emotionally and physically.

Just like every other morning, John wakes you up at 9am. He walks into your bedroom and turns the light on and rips your blanket off of you.

“Rise and shine! Get up you lazy arse!” He says enthusiastically.