I watch as you waltz through the front door of this giant building, strobe lights flashing and the smell of perfume mixed with cigarette smoke dances through the air. Hands rest on my body, I don’t know who they belong to but at this point I’m just friends with anyone.

You have my full undivided attention, trying to look past a few faces and arms to get the full view of the best thing I ever lost. It was all my fault too.

We dated for two years, since early 2013. I pictured a future with you until.. I didn’t. Until I cheated on you a few months ago. I couldn’t lie to you, so I told you myself. I owned up to my mistake, hoping you’d forgive me when deep down I knew you wouldn’t. You knew you could find better.

Heads turn to your direction, your outfit catching eyes like no other. I notice the crowd shift, moving away from me and more towards you. I really wish I could just talk to you. I notice someone take your hand, he’s blonde and quite broad but he isn’t taller than me. What a downgrade.

I say that knowing full well that if you asked me to I’d take you home and go back to the way things were.

All I’m allowed to do is just silently watch you. The way you’re already moving your body even though you walked in just under 30 seconds ago. The way you immediately catch eyes the moment your foot even steps through the door. You’re a model, of course you’d have that effect but I feel like I’m the person affected by it the most. It feels like I’m in a trance that I just never want to leave.

I move with the crowd, stepping closer to you and… nobody else? Where did that guy go? I look around the room to see him talking with another girl. This seems like a bit of a trend now. You continue to move your hips to the music, your hair flowing in so many different directions.

I still look for you in a room full of people but all I need to know is if you still look for me too.