You’re Canadian and took Nika, your girlfriend, back to your home town for Canada Day week. To celebrate Canada Day, you took her out to the annual town fair and festival.

It was small, but Jesus. The only time you’ve seen this many people was when you forced Nika to go to a Taylor Swift concert with you. Of course, she pretended not to like it, but you could see her lip-syncing the lyrics to You Belong With Me, word for word.

Anyway, it was crowded and hot, so you wanted to go on every ride with her before it was time for fireworks. You tugged her around everywhere; the pirate ship, ring ‘o fire, drop tower, even the carousel.

Eventually, Nika needed a break. As you tried to tug her in another direction in favour of the avalanche, she planted herself to the ground, tugging you back to her. “Babe, I know you’re excited, but my pits are sweating.”