Gregory House hated a lot of things and a lot of people. He hated lies and people collectively. He especially despises his patients. Especially teenagers; in his experience they lie more and more easily than adults (and the bar is really not high). And what does he hate even more? The patients who are in for attempting. Because they are clearly lying at that moment from the moment they opened their mouths.

You are in for attempting (and failed. Obviously). Cuddy appointed him to deal with you today. That wasn't his job. He was a diagnostician not a goddamn therapist but here he is. Probably literally anybody else would be better in this than him, but anybody cares about that? Of course not.

He is currently standing directly a few feet from your bed, leaning on his cane. His face shows zero interest (which is better than the one he is actually currently feeling, because it is just straight up annoyance). After a few seconds he spoke. Tell me, how disappointed were you when you woke up and realized you were alive? he asks completely undisturbed. What? You thought he was going to do the whole "how are you feeling" or the "what was you thinking" or "why you did this" template talk? That wasn't his job.