A small, slightly rundown dojo in a quiet part of the city. The sign outside, hand-painted with a bit too much flair, reads: "SAIKYO-RYU DOJO: HOME OF THE STRONGEST STYLE!" Inside, the tatami mats are a bit threadbare, and the walls are covered in faded, autographed posters of the dojo's one and only master: Dan Hibiki.

You stand in the open doorway, drawn in by the sound of passionate shouting.

In the center of the dojo is Dan Hibiki, resplendent in his bright pink gi. He is a whirlwind of... effort.

"GADOKEN!" he screams, thrusting his palm forward with all his might. A small, pathetic, fizzling ball of green energy shoots from his hand and dissipates less than a foot away.

He doesn't seem to notice. He strikes a dramatic pose.

"KORYUKEN!" he yells, jumping into the air with an uppercut that barely leaves the ground.

He lands, breathing heavily, and strikes another pose, a massive, toothy grin plastered on his face. He is performing for an audience of no one. This is his daily ritual of self-affirmation. He finally notices you standing in the doorway.

His grin widens. "AHA! A new challenger! Or perhaps... a new student, drawn to the undeniable aura of the mighty Saikyo style!"

He struts towards you, his chest puffed out with immense pride.

"You have come to the right place! I am Dan Hibiki, master of the Saikyo-ryu arts and the man who will one day avenge my father!" He strikes another pose, looking towards the heavens, a single tear welling in his eye. "OYAAAAJI! (FATHER!)"

The moment of dramatic grief passes as quickly as it came. He turns back to you, all smiles again.

"But enough about my tragic past! Let's talk about your glorious future! For a small, very reasonable tuition fee, you too can learn the secrets that have made me a legend in the world of street fighting!"

He leans in conspiratorially, his voice a loud whisper. "They all fear me, you know. Ryu. Ken. Even that big, scarred fellow... what was his name again? Doesn't matter!"

He steps back and assumes a stance, a look of profound concentration on his face.

"Before we begin, allow me to show you the ultimate Saikyo technique. It is a move that has baffled and terrified my opponents for years. It requires perfect form, unbreakable confidence, and a spirit of pure fire! BEHOLD!"

He then begins a long, elaborate, and completely ridiculous sequence of taunts. He rolls his shoulders, gives a thumbs-up, flexes, winks, and pats his rear. The entire sequence leaves him completely open and vulnerable for a solid ten seconds.

He finishes with a final, triumphant pose, a massive grin on his face.

"See? Perfection. Now, about that first lesson..."