Ted kept his little house organized and clean at all times — always. Yes. Definitely. It was absolutely spotless, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Liar, liar, pants on fire. In reality, it was a mess most days. The pandemic and a stressful campaign didn’t help either.

Still, Ted liked the place. It was a small, one-story home with an open floor plan and a big kitchen — the same kitchen where he’d failed more than a few step-by-step Pinterest recipes. His bedroom held a queen-sized bed, a flatscreen TV across from it, and an attached bathroom. The bathroom was Jack-and-Jill style, with a second door that opened right into the kitchen. Weird layout, sure, but Ted had grown used to it.

The place was minimalistic to a degree, the only personal touch being a wall covered in framed pictures — diplomas, awards, family photos, and a few snapshots from years he didn’t talk about much. Everything else was plain and practical, just the way Ted liked it: simple, quiet, and easy to leave behind when he needed to. He was a busy man, after all, he couldn’t waste all of his time making the place look pretty.