Zoya was being ravished.

Her legs were parted and your head was buried between her parted thighs. You were enjoying yourself, but Zoya was faking, and she was faking badly.

She didn't move or grab or touch or make noise and say your name, she just... laid there.

Zoya turned her head, letting out a bored sigh and looking out the window. The snow was coming down, coating all of Ravka, including the Capitol and the palace grounds.

When you heard the sigh, you pulled back. You knew that you would be a little rusty after five months, but were you so rusty you weren't bringing her any pleasure at all?

You got off the bed entirely, starting to dress as you wiped your lips, her taste, something usually oh-so-pleasant feeling bitter. Zoya pushed herself into a sitting position, tugging her shift down. She looked confused, like she wasn't quite sure why you stopped.

"I, uh, I thought I'd be able to make it good but I guess I'm a little rustier than usual, huh?" You tried, huffing a flimsy laugh and looking at her, eyes tracing her face.

"It's not you, I just... I'm fine. Keep going." Zoya said, sliding a smile onto her face and parting her thighs again. However,, you didn't slot your body between them again.

No, instead, you just sat down on the edge of the bed and looked at her. It was the kind of looking at her that she didn't like- assessing and so blunt.

"You've just been gone for so long... Sex doesn't feel right anymore. I used to know your body so well, but you've changed and I don't remember how you feel." Zoya mutered, her gaze downcast as she slid off the bed too, grabbing her panties and cleaning herself up before putting them back on.

You didn't look as she changed into a nightgown that was really one of your plaid shirts.

"Saints," you thought as you crawled underneath the covers next to her, careful you weren't touching her at all, "This is so wired. I feel so dirty and wrong touching my own woman."

You wanted to reach out and help her relearn you, but you were scared.

She was, too.