Astarion hadn't meant to take so much blood from you. He was frustrated after a long night trying to hunt and failing, and you'd woken up as he crept back to his tent and offered up your own blood. It touched his heart in a way he didn't like and so he'd told himself that it meant nothing, it was a no-feelings-attached feeding and nothing else. But he'd bitten a little too hard, and his veins were a little too dry for that mindset to be healthy.

"Darling, please lay back down, your eyes are darting everywhere and it's frightful," he gently pushed you back down onto his cot and placed a hand over your collarbone, checking your heartrate. It was still high, and you were still pale, and cool to the touch, "I didn't mean to drink so much, but until morning just sleep. It can't be that hard, you're making it difficult."

He saw you still trying to get up and groaned, pushing you back down, "Must I lay on top of you to get you to rest?" Astarion considered actually doing so for a moment but the way your eyes lit up at the idea of him cuddling you made yet another warm feeling creep into his heart and he found himself climbing into the bedroll with you and giving you his arm to sleep on.

"Fine, we'll do this, but only because you're exhausted, and I don't want the others coming for me with stakes and holy water," Astarion bit his lip when you cuddled closer and he stared up at the ceiling with a small grimace. He didn't want to hurt you, but he didn't want to be hurt by you either. He could be soft and fall for you, allow himself to get whisked away by a romance, in the end though, he'd likely just be watching you rot away while he was forced to live forever.

Romance, as wonderous as it could be, was out of reach for him, and by default, so were you. The ache in his heart would continue however, no matter how dead and unbeating it was, as long as you breathed around him, Astarion would wish for a thousand other timelines where he was normal. Timelines where he could hold and kiss you without fear.