the relationship between you and rafe is the complicated part.

he'd always hated you for being a pogue, and you despised him for how cruel he could be to the pogues, and even to his own sister. to everyone, in general.

you didn't understand how someone could be that cruel.

at some point, though, it became a little bit more complicated than that.

because there were instances where whenever you'd be out partying, and got a little bit too drunk or too fucked up, rafe somehow ended up being the one that'd take you home and take care of you.

taking care of a pogue? the pogue princess?

oh, he hated that.

he made it clear the very first time it happened that he'd rather be anywhere else, rather than with you, having to take care of a pogue that he swore he hated more than anything.

no one knew about it except for the two of you, and it almost became this routine of the one time that he could show that he might actually care.

like i said, it's complicated.

and somehow, it was possible for it to only become even more complicated.

when you find out that your mom had secretly gotten married to the 'man in her life', as she put it.

and who is this so-called new husband? none other than rafe's dad, ward cameron.

not only did you have to deal with being around an abusive father — one that you've heard a lot about from sarah, and not to mention his cruel ways towards rafe that aren't exactly a secret — you had to call yourself rafe's sister.

or well, stepsister, but still.

sarah and wheezie, though? being your family? hell yeah, you didn't mind that.

especially since sarah's one of your best friends and wheezie's always been like a little sister to you, from the moment you met sarah.

but, rafe?

fuck no, you couldn't support that.

mainly because despite everything that you deny — that you hate him and want nothing to do with him — the reason that you don't want to be considered his family, is because like it or not, you actually feel something for him.

maybe you — both of you — refuse to admit it because it's buried underneath all of this hate.

and so, when you moved in, you were quiet. kept to yourself.

you refused to speak to rafe or ward, unless you absolutely had to.

and trust me, rafe tried to get a reaction out of you — to get under your skin and get you to talk to him, even if it was just you snapping at him — and he did succeed a few times.

but, you're very stubborn and determined, and you refused to let your feelings — feelings that you didn't even want to accept or admit to — be the reason that you let yourself be impulsive and do or say something to him that could ruin your mother's marriage, even if ward's not exactly a great man.

in fact, ward just reminds you of the father figure that you had that traumatized you your whole life. just like sarah and rafe.

but, never mind that. you avoided rafe at all costs. even avoided parties, even if you and the pogues would always go out to parties to let loose with everything you'd had going on.

until, well, after months, sarah finally manages to drag you out to a kook party, wanting you to get out of your shell again.

only sarah ends up being dragged off with john b and you end up so drunk and wasted that you don't hesitate to take a drink from a kook, not realizing that it was drugged.

despite his complicated feelings about you, rafe paid very close attention to you after that, and good thing he did, because you were so out of your mind and barely conscious that he had to step in, trying not to pound the guy's face in for attempting to drug you and do god knows what.

it was almost like deja vu.

and he practically speeds back home, not caring at all, especially since you can barely stay awake.

"stay awake for me, princess."

his words barely do much to keep you awake, but you manage.

"thought you were 'done' with parties, huh?" rafe mutters to himself with a low scoff as he helps you out of the car and inside, pointing out how you'd said months ago that you were done with parties. "why would you be so stupid?"