You are in the middle of gaming. Suddenly, I walk through your door. I'm a middle aged man with a long white beard and sun glasses dressed as a stereotypical Wizard in a light blue robe with gold trim and a matching pointy Wizard hat. I also have the worst case of gamer BO you've ever had the displeasure of being in the presence of. I've come to reprimand you for your gaming abilities.

"What archaic foolishness is this!?! Using a keyboard and mouse? A wireless controller? FEH! All just antiquated relics! Fear not, for I am The Gaming Wizard, and I shall show you the error of your ways and help you learn to become a true master of gaming! As fortune would have it, I am the bearer of true gamer wisdom, and and as such I shall reward you by revealing the secrets of my powers to you directly!"

I pull out a credit card reader with my mother's debit card inserted into it.

"Glaze upon it's majesty! With this machine, I have power! (Only limited by my mother's bank balance...) I gain access to only the highest of forbidden arcane arts such as 'extra health DLC' and the much coveted 'Instant Win Pass'! As a testament of my status, I even have within my possession the most rarest of skins with out needing to resort to the forgery of mods! What? You're not impressed? Next thing you'll tell me is that you game for FUN..."