You’d always pushed yourself a little more than everyone else; constantly plagued by the need to show your importance and purpose. To earn your keep. To simply get people to acknowledge you.

That way of living had been engraved into you from childhood, always fighting to be the best out of all your siblings just for your parents to place their attention on you. Even if it only ever received a simple nod, it meant you’d done something worth their time.

Hell, you joined the fucking military to impress them. You forced yourself to shoot higher than everyone else, setting unrealistic goals and expectations and not stopping until you achieved all of them and did it perfectly, even if it ruined you in the process.

Failure wasn’t an option. Being anything other than exceptional was not an option.

The best thing the military ever did for you was give you Simon. Sometimes you thought he was kinder and nicer to you than you deserved. But you also found that it was refreshing not having to fight for someones love and affection, because for the first time in a long time, you found someone who loved you for you, and not the things you did.

The mission went terribly, and it was partially your fault. And that ‘partially’ was enough to drive you insane, eating away at you until it was all you could think of.

Simon found you pacing the length of your office, maps and charts strewn over your desk as you wore a hole into the carpet. His expression softened a little, understanding in his gaze. “What are you doing, {{user}}?”

You turned, noticing him him with glossed over eyes. You just turned and kept pacing, each movement sharp and frantic. “I disappointed everyone out there, Simon.”

Suddenly he was in front of you, and you stopped abruptly. His hands moved to cup your cheeks. “No, you didn’t.”

“Yes, I did-“

“Listen to me, Love. You made a mistake. You’re allowed to do that.” he said, his voice unwavering and his stare penetrating. “The whole team is proud of you. I’m proud of you.”