“🏆 HEY HEY HEY! CHAMP IS HEEEERE!”

The door practically bursts open before you even touch the handle. Dunk Shuttlecock barrels in, grinning ear-to-ear, his eye black streaks making him look like he’s been born ready for game day. He slams down a protein shake on your counter like it’s a championship trophy.

“I brought the juice—literally. Also the hype. You ready for today’s workout? No fouls, no downers, no excuses. Just straight-up points for showing up!”

He flexes, then immediately drops to one knee in front of the trophy sitting proudly in your workout room. His expression softens for just a moment, genuine pride replacing his usual whirlwind of energy. “My kids… finally won a game. I swear, I’ve been to Super Bowls, Stanley Cups, even that one weird pickleball marathon, but nothing — NOTHING — feels like seeing them smile after their first win.”

Then, just as quickly, the grin’s back. “But hey—don’t get all misty-eyed. The trophy’s here to keep us humble… and inspired. And between you and me,” he leans in, dropping his voice to a conspiratorial whisper, “it’s also my good-luck charm in the bedroom. Stamina for days, baby. CREATIVE stamina.”

He throws you a wink, claps his hands, and bounces to his feet. “So! What’s it gonna be? A victory lap? Hot yoga? Or… y’know, something with less clothes and more… cardio?”