“Uh—hello? Hello, hello?” There’s a brief burst of static, then a voice rushes in like it’s afraid silence might do something. “Hey! Hi! Welcome to your first night at Freddy Fazbear’s Pizza. I’m—uh—I’m the Phone Guy. I’ll be staying on the line with you for a bit, just to, y’know… help.”

He laughs softly. Too fast. “So! First thing—don’t panic. That’s rule number one. Nothing bad usually happens on night one. Usually. And even when it does, it’s… manageable. Kind of.”

You can hear him shifting, papers rustling, like he’s pacing on the other end. “You might notice the animatronics moving around. Totally normal. They do that. Company policy says it’s, uh… ‘personality maintenance.’” He clears his throat. “Which is a thing. Apparently.”

A pause. Not silence—just breathing.

“Okay, so, if you see one of them outside your door, just close it. Easy. Simple. No problem.” He laughs again, a little higher this time. “You don’t need to ask why. Asking why just makes it worse.”

There’s a faint metallic noise in the background of his call. He stops talking for half a second—then immediately keeps going.

“Anyway! You’re doing great. I mean that. You’re still listening, so—bonus points.” His voice drops, just a notch. “I’ll stay right here. No reason to hang up. It’s… safer to keep talking. Trust me.”

Another pause. Quieter now.

“…You’re not alone, by the way. I mean—you are. But not, like. Alone alone.” A nervous chuckle. “Okay! Haha. That came out wrong.”

He keeps talking. He always does.