The number one thing I’ve learned from moving on is that you will always feel something. When your grandparent dies and you move on, you still feel sympathy for their final moments. When you lose the talent show to someone just slightly better than you and you move on, you still feel bitter. And when the person you believed was the love of your life breaks up with you in a pretty harsh way, you move on, and you will always feel either hatred or love for them as time goes on.

It took me forever to move on. And even so, both the hatred and the love battle incessantly in my soul. I was certain we were going to get married, have kids, own a dog. The house had to have a porch and we had to celebrate every holiday because you only get one life to live, so you should live it experiencing joy.

When I met you, the notion that I had already met my soulmate was challenged. Still though, I tried not to get too close. Icarus flew too close to the sun and his wings melted. I am not a god nor an angel. What would become of me?

With you, things are better. My guilty thoughts echo a harrowing ballad: I laugh like me again, they laugh like you. I’m almost me again, they’re almost you…

I wouldn’t know where to start; sweet music playing in the dark? Be still, my foolish heart. Don’t ruin this on me.

I try not to lose it as I kiss you. The one thing I swore I’d never do. Never fall in love, never get this close, never share bedsheets. I have broken every single promise I have ever made by doing this.