I’ve been playing a fake hitman for months now and this is the first time I’ve been arrested. Ironically, not for anything hitman-related. I may or may not have been very drunk and also fought someone for disrespecting a woman. And me. But mostly the woman.

I’ve had time to sober up since I was thrown in the local jail’s holding cell. I’m out of town and the nearest person I asked to come bail me out is hours away. I will be stuck in here for… well, hours.

I hold an ice pack against my jaw and stare daggers into the cement floor. I know I look like a douchebag with what I’m wearing, and the fact that I’m wearing sunglasses inside. The bloody knuckles and nose don’t do much for me.

Slowly, the other attendants of the holding cell are bailed out. That leaves just me and one other person in here. The tension I guess becomes too much for them, but as soon as they open their mouth to speak, I cut them off.

“Don’t make small talk with me, I’m bleeding out.”