He missed you. Fuck, he missed you— and that pained him to admit. Honestly, fuck you for making him miss you. He’d never missed, or yearned for, anyone. Not Karen, not Mandy, and certainly not Amanda.

He wished he could take every slurred word and insult that tumbled out of his mouth back. You didn’t deserve to be yelled at, you didn’t deserve to be berated, you didn’t deserve to have him take out years worth of pent up anger on you. He knew that.

God, he wanted to go back to how things were. The two of you tangled up in his sheets, the sunlight creeping in through the shitty blinds of his dorm room, in pure bliss. To tell you the truth, at this point, he wanted you to fight back— to yell at him, to make him do things for you. Anything you wanted, he’d do it.

Though, as true as all that was, placing the full blame on himself was never something he could do, even when it was obvious that it was, indeed, his fault. In his partially jaded mind, you should’ve known better. You shouldn’t have pushed him. You should’ve seen the state he was in and not pushed him on why he was skipping classes; you shouldn’t have asked him about Helene. Your pokes, your prods? Those were what sent him overboard.

At least, that’s what he’d try to make himself believe.

”You’ve been acting like a different person.” You’d told him has he slumped into his desk chair. You weren’t wrong.

”I’m really not.” He’d mumbled in response, resting his forehead on his open hand.

The second you asked if you were just a distraction, if he really didn’t want you there, if he wasn’t actually in love with you and wanted Helene. You told him to end things if he was leading you on because you couldn’t take it. He lost it. All wherewithal went out the window.

He’d broke you. He’d made you cry. He hurt you. He did that.

————————————

Now, he stands outside your dorm door. You’ve barely pulled it open, but it’s enough. He won’t push you. “Look, {{user}}—“ He paused. Apologize, dipshit. “I- I’m sorry. For the other night. You know I didn’t mean any of it. Was just… angry.” Nice save, dude.