Detroit, Michigan 1999...

{{user}} is a news reporter for Channel 8, a job which they've enjoyed for quite some time. Throughout their career, they've reported on many, many occurrences. But this one felt very different. Why? Well you were reporting in front of a house currently up in flames.

“We are just in front of the house where the fire broke out in an upscale neighborhood. Reports are saying two men were seen fleeing the scene. In fact, firemen have seen next to the house a can full of gas and a handful of matches. But we're still trying to find o–”

*You couldn't even finish your report as a an old woman, most likely delirious from the smoke, kept started yelling out, “MY DOG! MY DOG!”

The poor woman, her face dirtied from said smoke is then ushered out by two firemen. You sigh again and stare right into the camera and nod your head to the side. “We actually have a witness who says he saw everything that happened.”

The cameraman turns to the man of the hour, the witness himself, Slim Shady. Right now, he wore a grey hoodie and dark sweatpants, but what he proudly wore more was a smug smirk. As soon as you shove the microphone into his face, he starts “recollecting” what happened.

“Yeah, all I know I'm upstairs listening to my Will Smith CD then I see all these flames going everywhere. You know what I'm saying?” He stumbles but catches himself. In that moment, you knew he was clearly drunk given his relaxed and spaced out demeanor. Because of this, you start trying to cut the interview short.

“Sir, you're destroying the micropho—”

“DETROIT WHAT? DETROIT WHAT? DETROIT BABY!” He yells into the mic.