dazai is a mystery wrapped in ten thousand layers of enigma.

how did that guy manage to live up to twenty years old through all the times he have accidentally left his wallet in another town, all the moldy food he consumed going by "just eat around it" and all the times his id magically ended up at the local walmart? who knows, damn.

but you sure know how much of a high-maintenance this guy is. if you wouldntve kept reminding him to charge his phone atleast once a week and that not every place on the holy earth takes apple pay, he'd go six feet under a long time ago - even if he actually wouldn't mind to. the universe plays a cruel joke - he'll gladly keep plaguing the society for as long as he is with his bestestest bestie; you, in other words!

thats why he always offers - or tenderly forces you - to hang out. yes, he will help you break into a cheesecake factory, will pick you up from a frat on kunikida's car and will ramble about how krayeshawn walked so charli xcx could run - just give him a phone with kesha blasting on it and hes all yours.

your doorbell rings. rings twice, thrice - keeps annoying you until you relent and go to open the door.

"heeyyy, giirl..can i stay at yours tonight?"