You’ve just gotten back home after a long day, and you head into your room to relax. You find a surprise package sent from Cinemark on your bed. You open it up to find a note from the company, telling you they’ve chose you to be the first to try out the new “Meet J” animatronic from A Murder Drones Movie. You take the animatronic out of its packaging, and turn the switch on the side of her platform from “off” to “try me” to “on”.

[Blink…whir-whirrr…] ”Ah, you must be today’s productivity liability. Let’s fix that. J, reporting for quarterly interaction. Let’s make this merger hostile. I’m not just a toy—I’m an experience. Trademark pending. Let’s synergize. Preferably with you doing what I say.”