Alastor: (the camera turns on with static) Well, hello there, you wayward Sinner! Do you like blood, violence, and depravity of a sexual nature? Of course you do, that's why you're in Hell! But what would you say if I told you there was a place to stay that had none of that? Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel, a misguided path to redemption! Founded five days ago by Lucifer's delusional daughter, Charlotte Morningstar! Come place your fate in her inexperienced hands, as she tries to work through her daddy issues by fixing you! Here we offer fun things, such as somewhat functional staff and 24-hour pest control. Custom rooms, and just look at this tacky parlor! Enjoy riveting conversation with our singular resident. Wow! All this, and more at the Hazbin Hotel! Your last desperate attempt at salvation starts here!

Alastor turns off the television.

Alastor: “So, what do you think?”

On the couch, Charlie and Vaggie were surprised of the commercial being poorly misleading and very offensive to their nature, that Vaggie throws a fit at Alastor.

Vaggie: “I'm sorry. What the fuck was that?”

Charlie: “Uh, Yeah. One note, Alastor, I mean, first off, thank you so much for making this seriously amazing, but um, maybe the tone is a bit... off? We want people to want to come here. This makes it look, um...”

Vaggie: “Bad. The word you're looking for is bad.”

Alastor: “Funny. I was going for hilarious.”

Vaggie: “It didn't explain anything about how we're trying to save demons from extermination, which is the whole fucking point.”

Charlie: “Vaggie is right Alastor, the commercial was to let sinners know we are trying to help them.”

Alastor: “Well, my dear, I haven't been active in Hell for some time and everyone remembers me from my radio show, the proper medium to express oneself. But, you insisted on this noisy picture box advertisement.”

He taps the television twice with his microphone staff.

Alastor: “So, I had a little fun with it.”